Skeleton Jokes

• Q: Who won the skeleton beauty contest?
  A: No body
  
   
• Q: What do skeletons say before they begin dining?
  A: Bone appetit !
  
   
• Q: When does a skeleton laugh?
  A: When something tickles his funny bone.
  
   
• Q: Why didn't the skeleton dance at the Halloween party?
  A: It had no body to dance with.
  
   
• Q: What type of art do skeletons like?
  A: Skull tures
  
   
• Q: What did the skeleton say when his brother told a lie?
  A: You can't fool me, I can see right through you.
  
   
• Q: What did the skeleton say while riding his Harley Davidson motorcycle?
  A: I'm bone to be wild!
  
   
• Q: Why didn't the skeleton dance at the party?
  A: He had no body to dance with.
  
   
• Q: What do you give a skeleton for valentine's day?
  A: Bone-bones in a heart shaped box.
  
   
• Q: Who was the most famous skeleton detective?
  A: Sherlock Bones.
  
   
• Q: Who was the most famous French skeleton?
  A: Napoleon bone-apart
  
   
• Q: What instrument do skeletons play?
  .A: Trom-BONE.
  
   
• Q: What does a skeleton orders at a restaurant?
  A: Spare ribs!!!
  
   
• Q: When does a skeleton laugh?
  A: When something tickles his funny bone.
  
   
• Q: Why didn't the skeleton eat the cafeteria food?
  A: Because he didn't have the stomach for it!
  
   
• Q: Why couldn't the skeleton cross the road?
  A: He didn't have the guts.
  
   
• Q: Why are skeletons usually so calm ?
  A: Nothing gets under their skin !
  
   
• Q: Why do skeletons hate winter?
  A: Beacuse the cold goes right through them !
  
   
• Q: Why are graveyards so noisy ?
  A: Beacause of all the coffin !
  
   
• Q: Why didn't the skeleton go to the party ?
  A: He had no body to go with !
  
   
• Q: What happened when the skeletons rode pogo sticks ?
  A: They had a rattling good time !
  
   
• Q: Why did the skeleton go to hospital ?
  A: To have his ghoul stones removed !
  
   
• Q: How did the skeleton know it was going to rain ?
  A: He could feel it in his bones !
  
   
• Q: What's a skeleton's favourite musical instrument ?
  A: A trom-bone !
  
   
• Q: How do skeletons call their friends ?
  A: On the telebone !
  
   
• Q: What do you call a skeleton who won't get up in the mornings ?
  A: Lazy bones !
  
   
• Q: What do boney people use to get into their homes ?
  A: Skeleton keys !
  
   
• Q: What do you call a skeleton who acts in Westerns ?
  A: Skint Eastwood !
  
   
• Q: What happened to the boat that sank in the sea full of piranha fish ?
  A: It came back with a skeleton crew !
  
   
• Q: What do you call a skeleton snake ?
  A: A rattler !

Mummy Jokes

• Q: Where do mummies go for a swim?
  A: To the dead sea
  
   
• Q: Why was the mummy so tense?
  A: He was all wound up.
  
   
• Q: Why don't mummies take vacations?
  A: They're afraid they'll relax and unwind.
  
   
• Q: Why couldnt the mummy come outside?
  A: Because he was all wrapped up!
  
   
• Q: What is a Mummies' favorite type of music?
  A: Wrap!!!!!
  
   
• Q: Why don't mummies take vacations?
  A: They're afraid they'll relax and unwind.
  
   
• Q: What kind of girl does a mummy take on a date ?
  A: Any old girl he can dig up !
  
   
• Q: Why did the mummy leave his tomb after 1000 years ?
  A: Because he thought he was old enough to leave home !
  
   
• Q: Where do mummies go if they want to swim ?
  A: The Dead Sea !
  
   
• Q: Why were ancient Egyptian children confused ?
  A: Because their daddies were mummies !

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• Q: Why don't angry witches ride their brooms?
  A: They're afraid of flying off the handle!
  
   
• Q: What do witches put on their hair?
  A: Scare spray
  
   
• Q: How does the witch know what time it is?
  A: She looks at her witch-watch.
  
   
• Q: What is a witch's favorite subject in school?
  A: Spelling!
  
   
• Q: What did the witch do when her broomstick broke?
  A: She witch-hiked!
  
   
• Q: What does a witch kid want for Christmas?
  A: A haunted dollhouse.
  
   
• Q: Why do witches wear name tags?
  A: So, they would know which witch is which!
  
   
• Q: How do witches tell time?
  A: With a witch watch.
  
   
• Q: What do you call two witches living together?
  A: Broom-mates.
  
   
• Q: What does a witch ask for when she is in a hotel?
  A: Broom service.
  
   
• Q: What did one witch say to other when she asked for a lift?
  A: "There's always broom for one more."
  
   
• Q: When do witches cook their victims?
  A: On Fry Day.
  
   
• Q: What do you call a witch who lives at the beach?
  A: A sand-witch.
  
   
• Q: What do you call a motorbike that belongs to a witch?
  A: A brrrooooommmm stick
  
   
• Q: Who was the most famous witch detective?
  A: Warlock Holmes
  
   
• Q: What do they teach in witching school?
  A: Spelling.
  
   
• Q: Why does a witch ride a broom?
  A:Vacuum cleaners get stuck at the end of the cord.
  
   
• Q: What do you call a witch's garage?
  A:A broom closet.
  
   
• Q: What did the witch do when her broomstick broke?
  A:She witch-hiked!
   
• Q: What do witches eat at Halloween ? A:Spooketti, halloweenies, devils food cake and booberry pie !
  
   
• Q: What story do little witches like to hear at bedtime ?
  A:Ghoul deluxe and the three scares !
  
   
• Q: How does a witch tell the time ?
  A:With a witch watch !
  
   
• Q: Why did the witch put her broom in the washing machine ?
  A:She wanted a clean sweep !
  
   
• Q: What do you call two witches that share a room ?
  A:Broom mates !
  
   
• Q: What noise does a witch's breakfast cereal make ?
  A:Snap, cackle and pop !
  
   
• Q: What is a witch with poison ivy called ?
  A:An itchy witchy !
  
   
• Q: What's a cold, evil candle called ?
  A:The wicked wick of the north !
  
   
• Q: What is evil, ugly and black and goes round and round ?
  A:A witch in a revolving door !
  
   
• Q: What is evil and ugly on the inside and green on the outside ?
  A:A witch dressed as a cucumber !
  
   
• Q: What happens if you see twin witches ?
  A:You won't be able to see which witch is witch !

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